


Yuri!!! on Spice(y memes)

by sapphicprinceofice



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Crack, Fluff and Crack, One Shot, au where instead of yuri on ice yuri's free skate is a zesty meme, everyone would be like oh my god yuri is horny on main, forgive me for my butchering of the timeline, i couldn't resist writing this, okay but for real tho imagine this program paired with eros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 02:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15720063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicprinceofice/pseuds/sapphicprinceofice
Summary: An AU where instead of "Yuri on Ice", Yuri Katsuki's free skate is a shitpost.





	Yuri!!! on Spice(y memes)

**Author's Note:**

> I made a shitpost at 1 AM and quickly realized that it'd only take a little bit of tweaking and fleshing out to make into a YOI crack fic, so I did it because of who I am as a person.
> 
> The post in question: http://sapphicprinceofice.tumblr.com/post/177086454313/me-as-a-world-famous-figure-skater

Yuri’s family excitedly gathers around the TV to watch him compete. They have no idea what they are in store for. They had never seen his free and he had even kept the concept a secret. It’s currently a commercial break, but soon the competition coverage is back on. Yuri steps on the ice and says a few final words to Victor. The camera zooms in on his face, highlighting his perfectly slicked back hair and the rhinestones encrusting his all black costume. One of the TV commentators begins speaking.

“Notice the dark and almost overbearing design of his costume.”

Yuri’s name is announced and he starts skating to his starting pose. The camera pans out to an overhead shot tracking his motion, and the other commentator cuts in. “Yes, Johnny, he said in a recent interview that this past year has been one of the roughest in his life. Because of this he decided to do a free skate that represents and reflects on his experiences,” he stops in the center of the rink and crumples into a pose of pure despair, “so here is the debut of the program he calls ‘this is so sad’.”

The opening notes of Despacito starts playing and Yuri perks up, turns around once, and does a body roll.

“Uh…” The older commentator remarks.

The younger commentator starts laughing. Yuri gathers a bunch of speed and does a series of 3-turns into a flying camel spin. The commentator keeps laughing. He can’t stop. The older commentator asks him if he’s okay. All that can be heard is the sound of a headset being taken off and put on the table. This causes Mari, who had been suppressing laughter the whole time, to bust out laughing. Yuri’s parents just stare at the screen in complete shock.

He continues his rowdy, flirty program incorporating elements from hip hop and salsa dance. The next 4 minutes pass without a peep from the commentators or Yuri’s parents despite him landing 5 quads, including a quad flip. He reaches the end of his program and strikes a slightly suggestive pose. The audience starts cheering. People rise to their feet and pelt him with stuffed animals. He starts smiling and then takes his bows before skating off to the kiss and cry.

Victor greets Yuri at the kiss and cry by lovingly tackling him to the ground and kissing him. There is complete silence from his parents the commentators as this happens. They are too in shock from what they had previously witnessed to process or comment on what just happened. Neither party acknowledges the announcer as Yuri sets a personal high score and lands in second place with only two more to skate. Yuri’s dad finally breaks the silence.

“Well that was… interesting.”

His parents never ask him about his free skate. They just assume that Despacito managed to hurt him. They are too afraid to find out how.

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone wondering, yes one of the commentators in question was Johnny Weir. I know he loves the anime and also I wanted some representation for us clockwise skaters.


End file.
